The “Coach”

The “Coach”

Ahhh,  one of the hottest topics in softball.  I’m going to share my experiences and the truth is “it is STILL the SAME”  The things I hear parents say about the coaches is the same from 8u to college.  The complaints and compliments are all the same. 

The GOOD Coach.  The Good Coach talks to the kids.  They know how to compliment the kids.  A good coach is fun, encouraging and is developing these young ladies for life, not just softball.  The Good Coach is a mentor and leads with example.  They represent what these girls look up to and role model for their future. They drive them to perform to their fullest potential.  They're not soft and without expectations. No matter what age group The Good Coach still has a major impact on the foundation of these young ladies lives, not just softball.  The Good Coach teaches and corrects mistakes with how to change it not criticize the mistake.  They find something each game that is positive that the kids did each game.  Gather the kids and parents at the end of each game and make sure you find good things to say about each kid.  The Good Coach can find multiple things about each kid.  The Good Coach can find a way to contain their frustration or expectations and find a way to learn from each error and teach.  The impact the Good Coach has on the kids is life changing. 

Are you making a positive impact on the kids? 

The famous Basketball Coach John Wooden is one of my favorites for what he taught the kids and what he taught the parents and the fans. 

“Don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t steal, don’t whine, don’t complain, don’t make excuses; worry about the things you can control, and not the things you can’t”. Appropriate one for every situation.” 
― John Wooden, A Game Plan for Life

The BAD Coach.  I bet we could all start a list about the “Bad Coach”.  Let me start with some experiences that I’ve seen over the year.  The Bad Coach makes it all about themselves.  He/she yells, criticizes and makes it personal to the kid.  They can’t find positive words to correct and usually go to a personal level to criticize.  They don’t acknowledge the good they only promote and reinforce the bad.  The Bad Coach disrespects the umpires, the parents and the game.  The Bad Coach has an agenda for why they’re out their coaching.  They think they know everything about everyone and the game.  The Bad Coach forgets that they are grooming young members of society.  They make mistakes themselves and blame others.  The Bad Coach usually has their own personal issues that they bring to the game.  Count the hours we spend with the softball family and realize just like a teacher in the classroom these people have a huge impact on your kid.

My advice for parents whether entering the game or playing at the top of the sport.  Find coaches that exemplify positive behavior and are a living example of what you want your children to be as adults.  Put your kid on the team that has the best role models on the staff.  Consider all members of the staff.  Sometimes the Bad Coach is a co-coach or manager.  Investigate all of them.  Do your homework before joining any team or committing to any college.  Find out what they really teach.  John Wooden never focused on winning.  When they focus on all other aspects of life the winning comes naturally.  The Good Coach leads, teaches and competes.  The Good Coach comes with a long history of success whether it is on the field or off the field.  He/She has leadership skills, communication skills and can show examples of their success.  They’re humble and let the kids have all the glory. 

Parents… respect the Good Coach.  They’re not perfect and maybe you don’t understand all of their responsibility.  It is not just about one kid.  Become involved with the game and leadership so you have a better understanding what the Coach has to experience.  It is easy to sit back and complain because you only have one perspective.  This is a game of losses, .300 is a good batting average.  Think about that average throughout all aspects of the game.  If you only play defense .300 percent of the time, that’s good.  If you’re Coaches decisions are only .300 percent what you’d do then consider it good.  Until you’re in this role and doing what they do, your opinion is just that, an opinion.  Keep it to yourself.  The Parent can destroy a Good Coach, the criticism is relentless,  but in the end the Good Coach will win out.  The parents just come and go. 

It is the same at EVERY level, the complaints about the Coaches, good and bad.  The issues about the game and playing time and all other aspects are ALL the same… just a different name on the jersey.

Here’s a link to all the quotes that apply to your daily life as an athlete! 

http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/23041.John_Wooden?page=1

“A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment.” 
― John Wooden

“A coach’s primary function should be not to make better players, but to make better people.” 
― John Wooden, A Game Plan for Life

“when coaches or parents make consistency their foundation, everyone around them becomes more comfortable and everyone around them has a greater opportunity to grow.” 
― John Wooden, A Game Plan for Life